Sunday, 23 December 2018

Menerima Luka

Ketika bintang berpendar cerah diujung malam...Ketika seluruh penghuni hutan tlah lelap dalam semesta mimpi...
maka saat itulah,,hanya pada saat itulah sang peri membiarkan tangisnya luruh meranai....
bukan..bukan karna ia ingin tampak digdaya...perkasa...
bukan karna kecut dengan semua mantra tenung sang ratu hutan...

tapi ia menyadari terlalu banyak nuansa hutan yg akan redam bila ia memaksakan kepak sayapnya terkembang bebas....
ia mengakui luas sayapnya menghunus langit....
Terendus dalam imajinya....akan sedigdaya apa badai yg terbit saat ia kepakkan sayapnya yg megah...
Ya...ternyata tak tega ia berlaku sekejam itu....
Walau telah berbagai laku ia terima dari sang ratu dan seluruh penghuni hutan..
Tak dapat muncul rasa bencinya...
Tak dapat muncul rasa tamaknya...

Maka ia acuhkan setiap bulu2nya yg luruh tercabik lecut cambuk..menyisakan kerangka sayap yg memucat berlumur darah...
Demi menatap senyum tawa sang ratu hutan dan seluruh penghuni wana yg bahagia sebab sayap kokohnya tak menghembus badai....
Seperti ucap seorang panglima padanya..yg walau selalu ia sanggah tpi merasuk jauh kekelam pikirnya...

pilihlah tiada hanya meninggalkan semerbak kasturi...agar terus tercium wanginya meski akhirnya engkau meninggalkan yg fana....

ah..relung imagi semesta merinai rinai renjana...

Friday, 7 December 2018

Matahari dan bayang-bayang

Bagaimana mungkin kaulah matahari,,sedang matahari menghidupi pepohonan,,
Menguapkan air dari tempat yang jauh....
Sedangkan kau hanya diam...
Katamu menunggu kepastian...
tak hentinya kau layukan aku yg berada disekitar....

Aku dan matahari tak pernah bertengkar,,
Tentang siapa diantara kami yg menciptakan bayang-bayang...
Aku dan matahari...kami sama-sama bisa menciptakan bayang-bayang....

Bayang-bayang selayak pantulan raga semata...
Tanpa kejelasan isi jiwa dan hati kita....
Tapi ada kejujuran di bayang-bayang,,
Tanpa sendu rekayasa....

Lalu kupandang bayang hitam melengkung disenja ini....
Melihat penuh kagum dan cinta...
Dan ketika sang surya telah benar terlelap...
Henyakku menyadari....
Itu bayanganku sendiri...
Gemetarku karena rindu...
Rindu yg tak akan pernah dipahami oleh siapapun...

Kamu....
Pahamkah kamu...
Rinduku melayang padamu....
Ya padamu....
Kamu yg tak mau tau....

Thursday, 6 December 2018

Eccedentesiast = hide behind smile

She didn’t like showing the pain,she was an eccedentesiast...
She always hides behind a smile,when all she want to do is hide and die...
If only suicide wasn't a huge sin...she's already do it...

When her world falling apart,,she'll laugh...
Laughed as if everything's ok...every pain is a loveable kiss..
Its doesn't means that she was a fake person...
She doesn’t want to bother other...just that...

After all,,she's learning a good things yet....
Only a few people actually care,the rest are just curious....
So why should she open up about her feeling...

Monday, 3 December 2018

KARMA or KIFARAH ??

In our daily life,,we often hear about this "karma" things...
But is it relevant with our ukhuwah??
Lets talk and divine bout it... 😊😊

From some books that I've read lately,,
They divine that karma is nothing but an account of our day to day activities maintained by some supernatural power...
Since we have a difficulty in imagining something that spans over thousands of years,,,we make it mystery...
In our daily experience,,,
we have seen accounts having information about people for maximum 10 years...
Even applying for passport doesn’t ask for more than 10 years of history of a person...
In marriages,,,history or family background of at most 500 years is taken into consideration...
But karma takes into account a really long period since time immemorial...
And this account is maintained by people who live really long....
The task to be done is very important....
It is to award a body to soul..

So karma decides the body we get....
It also decides our place of birth and parentage...
Isn’t it important?
Who would not wish to be born millionaire?
Karma is not short scale phenomena...
If it were, scientists would have discovered a way to manipulate it..
It spans long time...
So a person should not research too much into it but start working the right way from today...

Now lets talk about it in islamic view....
Do muslim believe in karma??
The answer is absolutely and obviously NO!!!

In Islam,,we have Kifarah...
everything you do to others is judged by Allah and you will get it back either in a good way or other, unlike in the Hindu religion.

So what is kifarah??

Kifarah is the return of God in the world of sin committed by ummat,,,
God tests also may occur,,,
which may involve the death of a loved one,,loss of property or illness,,regardless of whether the disease occurred in the period of time or intermittent depending on the conditions,,
We called it as Qada (read as Qodo')
Divine or forever until death...
Qada as long as the conditions for pain was not timely qada’ God,,,
then pain or kifarah above will not heal despite many efforts by human...
Its clearly proves that some of the disease will heal on its own even without human effort to get healed or not healed despite a lot of efforts have been done to cure it..

Indeed,,when Allah swt love a us, Allah will test it...
Its done whether by reducing disease and so on...
God will give patience...
In the face of such an attempt,,
patience is paramount...
Those who are patient will be given their reward without measure..
sorry i bitterly forget which surah is it...😜😜

However practices don't enable god to achieve the prestige of the set...
To be able to achieve the status of the last slave,,Allah will test them..
Perhaps by reducing the hosts to it,,
such as pain,,sensory loss,,and so on..
When given a test then God will give patience...
With this we will achieve the status..
Such is the will of God for the beloved ummat...

Aisha have said,,that the Prophet Muhammad saw have said which means....
Not a believer to fall upon a crash,,despite the thorns,,,or more than that,,,
but God will drop him a sin...
btw you can search it or googling it by bukhari muslim...

In another hadith the Prophet s.a.w. also never said which means,,
plight of people recorded as rosary pain,,anxiety and screams as prayers,,alms such breath,,,sleep as worship and anxiety,,,
from one,,the other is to one side like a jihad for Allah and written to him the best of current practice ever done healthy...

No doubt that everything that happens, have causes of action,,,and may be associated with human behavior..
But in fact behind the facts rationally unthinkable....
Qada and qadar divine contains divine mysteries that are not understood by humans....

Thats why we called it kifarah not karma.....
What you give,,you'll get back...
Either its in a good way or vice versa...
Coz..Allah is fair you know?!😊

And the questions is,,,,
are you ready for your Kifarah???
😉😉

Sunday, 2 December 2018

Hujan bulan desember

Aku mencintaimu...
Itu sebabnya aku tak pernah selesai mendoakan keselamatanmu...

Dalam doaku subuh ini..
Kau menjelma rupa langit...yg semalaman tak memejam meluas bening siap menerima cahaya pertama,,yg melengkung hening akan menerima suara-suara dunia...

Ketika matahari mengambang tenang diatas kepala,,
Dalam doaku kau menjelmakan pucuk pucuk cemara yg hijau senantiasa,,yg tak henti hentinya mengajukan pertanyaan muskil kepada angin yg mendesau entah dari mana...

Dalam doaku sore ini,,
Kau menjelmakan seekor elang yg mengibas ngibaskan bulunya dalam gerimis serasa gelisah lalu terbang hinggap di dahan cemara merontokkan biji biji wangi keatas kepala...

Magrib ini...
Dalam doaku kau menjelmakan angin yg turun sangat perlahan dari nun jauh disana,,berjingkat menyusuri setapak kecil itu...menyusupi celah jendela dan pintu...menyentuhkan pipi dan bibirnya di rambut dahi dan bulu2 mataku....

Dalam doa malamku....
Kau menjelmakan denyut jantungku,,yg dgn sabar bertahan terhadap rasa sakit yg entah mana batasnya...yg setia mengusut rahasia demi rahasia,,,yg tak putus2nya bagi kehidupanku...

Aku mencintaimu...
Itu sebabnya aku tak pernah selesai mendoakan keselamatanmu...
Karna angin hanya bisa dicintai oleh siul..
Serupa gunung dicintai oleh terjalnya,,
Dan cakrawala yg dicintai oleh tebasan jarak...

Aku ingin mencintaimu dengan rapi...
Letakkan kasih untukku dirongga rongga hati..
Bagian istimewa yang tak diumbar sana sini...

Friday, 30 November 2018

Soft suicide...tiap individu punya sisi masochists

Tulisan disela2 sakit yg menyiksa..hehe

Kita tahu logika perilaku tertentu yg kita lakuin bakal bikin kita menderita,,, namun kita tetap melakukannya....

Kita tahu logikanya kita perlu melakukan sesuatu,,,namun kadang kita justru melakukan persis sebaliknya...

Kita tahu jelas kalo ingin memiliki orang lain yang sudah memiliki pasangan itu akan membuat kita menderita...
Tapiiiii,,,lucunya banyak sekeliling kita tetap terjebak cinta ma orang yang gk bisa dimiliki...

Kita tahu logikanya tulisan diskon beli 2 dapat 1 itu cuman pancingan,,toh kita juga gk butuh beli 2,,tapi karna mikir "oh owkey,,itu lebih nguntungin",,akhirnya toh kita beli 2 barang yg kita gk butuh..

Kita tahu logikanya pas ngumpul kita taruh nih gadget,,trus ngobrol dgn teman yg sedang kita abaikan didepan...Tapi entah kenapa kita memilih tetap membuka media sosial... huf..

Kita tahu logikanya kita harus memaafkan,,karna dendam itu cuman bikin sakit yg dalam,,tapi yang kita lakuin toh tetap aja menyimpan dendam rapat rapat...dipupuk terus2an...

Kita tahu logikanya kita tuh perlu ngehargai org yg kita sayank..lakukan yg terbaik..buat hubungan yg udah dibangun jadi hubungan yg sukses...tumbuh dewasa buat pasangan...bukan terus2an jadi anak mami yg gk bertanggung jawab...namun toh banyak dari kita memilih melakukan sebaliknya...

Kita tahu logikanya kita perlu melepaskan hubungan yg toxic buat hidup kita..trus berusaha nyehatin mental supaya gk terus2an drop demi menyenangkan banyak org..mungkin kluarga ato lingkungan...
Tapi toh banyak dari kita tetep aja stuck di hubungan itu....

Nyadar gk sih,,banyak dari kita itu sebenernya lakuin yg namanya soft suicide...
jadi kita tau itu sakit..tapi trus2an dilakuin gk brenti...akhirnya malah jadi menikmati rasa sakitnya...
Masochists sebenernya...tapi bukan physically...lebih ke mental....
Dan itu sebenernya masuk ke ranah psikologi....
Hehe...

Ok its time cari pertolongan psikolog dan psikiater 🙇🙇🙇

Sunday, 18 November 2018

Mengkhilaskan yg telah terlewat

Mengikhlaskan yang telah terlewat,,mungkin kedengarannya mudah...semudah kita mengambil hikmah dari pengalaman orang lain...
Tapi sadar nggak...itu sebenarnya susah setengah mati (kalo kata gampangnya gitu)

Disuatu kata meng-ikhlas-kan sebenarnya ada menggunung tuju yg harus kita lewati dahulu....

Pertama: jelas disitu ada berdamai dengan diri sendiri...
lalu apa kata beradamai dengan diri sendiri bisa dijabarkan lagi...jelaaaaas...
Dalam berdamai dengan diri sendiri,,kita dituntut untuk memaafkan..
Memaafkan orang lain yang ada dalam alur waktu kita? Itu juga sih...
Tapi ya masa kita bisa maafin orang lain kalo kita belum bisa maafin diri sendiri...ya nggak juga kan...😅😅
Sooooooo....the first of all...pastinyaaa...
Maafkan dulu diri kita sendiri....
Maafkan kesalahan yang kita udah buat,,
maafkan kekhilafan kita buat,,
maafkan kalo kita ini cuman manusia biasa yg gak bisa ngontrol alur waktu sesuai dengan rencana kita....

Kedua : buat tenggang waktu ampe kapan kita mau bersedih...
Kenapa perlu? Yeah let me say... hati kita bukan program atau aplikasi yang begitu kena uninstall atau remove bakal langsung ilang gitu rasa sedihnya....
Hati nih perlu waktu buat "menikmati sedih"..
Menikmati disini bukan brarti trus kita jadi kaya orang masochistic yg disiksa malah puas2 gitu...NO !!!!!
Ini cuman brarti bahwa kita perlu terbiasa dan nerima bahwa kita memang baru saja mengalami masa sedih dalam fase hidup kita...so enjoy it...
Tapi juga jangan berlarut-larut gk jelas...
Kasih tenggat...kasih waktu...kita yang tau berapa lama kita bisa ada di masa sedih itu...

Ketiga : heal the wound..
Its mean...saat sakit itu dateng berupa luka menganga...kita harus tau how to fix it....usahain buat sembuhin lukanya...
Gak harus hilang gak berbekas sih...
Tpi paling gak...tinggal bekas yg bersih dan tertutup supaya gak terus menerus ada luka terbuka yg rentan infeksi...biar kita bisa fokus di hal lain..bukan cuman di luka yang ada itu....😉😉

Keempat : let it go..
Di fase ini,,kita coba bawa pikiran kita gak cuman fokus di rasa sedih yg udah terjadi...biarkan masa sedih itu lewat...
Lepasin sakitnya...jangan terus menerus digenggam erat...jangan sampe kita kaya menggenggam mawar yg baru dipetik langsung dari pohonnya....indah sih...tapi kan ya penuh duri..bikin berdarah2...
Kaya itulah juga sebenernya kenangan...indah buat dilihat...tpi ya sudah sampe situ aja....
jangan memaksa buat genggam dan memiliki...karena hanya akan menimbulkan luka baru kembali....

Kelima : jangan maksa buat lupain semua...
Kayanya gampang yah...tapi nyadar gk fase ini justru adalah fase penting yang seringkali bikin orang terjebak....
Terkadang orang yg sedang berusaha lepas dari suatu masa sedih atau pahit,,dia bakal berusaha keras,,berusaha sekuat kuatnya dia bisa buat lupain hal sedih yang dia alamin...BUT ITS WRONG !!!!!
Definitely and totally wrong...
Karena suatu hal yg kamu paksa untuk lupa,,terkadang bakal jadi hal yg akan selalu kamu ingat....
So,,pleaseee...ikutin aja alurnya...
Jangan dipaksa buat lupa...
Toh suatu saat,,yang namanya kenangan itu tempatnya ya di buku album kenang..
Sekali2 perlu dilihat (sebagai pembelajaran) tapi bukan yang terus dipegang erat....😊😊

Keenam : nikmatin hidup...
And this is the last...
Enjoy your life please...
Jangan stuck di satu tempat....
Hidup ini gak nunggu kamu buat selesai dengan rasa sedih atau pahitmu...
Waktu itu bakal terus jalan...
So daripada ngabisin waktu hanya untuk memikirkan hal yang udah lewat - apalagi itu cuman hal yg sedih dan pahit -
Akan lebih berguna banged waktu kita buat lakuin hal lain yg lebih menyenangkan...
Hidup itu cuman sekali...apa yang terjadi setelah mati pun tak ada yg sungguh tau...
So DO SOME FUN !!!!
ENJOY LIFE !!!!

Surabaya norma....
21.46

Saturday, 17 November 2018

Just Because I’m Nice Doesn’t Mean I’m Flirting


I’m a nice person,,I smile a lot and try to be warm to people I meet...The problem? It can be seen as flirting when it’s really not...Just because I’m being friendly and making conversation with someone doesn’t mean I’m trying to date them,,,so I wish people would stop assuming that’s the case...im not a whore!!!!!

1. DON’T MISTAKE MY SMILE FOR SOMETHING ELSE.
Just because I smile at people I’m chatting to or dealing with doesn’t mean that my smile is saying I want to date them...For God Sake...A smile is more about being nice than flirting...Everyone does it and often it means zilch other than that I’m a friendly,,,approachable person...

2. AM I GETTING UP IN UR PERSONAL SPACE? GOD NO !!!!!!
One of the biggest flirting signs is moving closer to someone and perhaps even touching them,,,like by lightly brushing their arm...I don’t do that...I keep to myself,,,thank u very much..I wish people would notice how I back away and cross my arms when they start to get too close...It’s a shame some view that as just playing hard to get..im not a whore you dumbass!!

3. I’M ACTUALLY REALLY SHY.
I’m kind of the last person who’d be bold enough to go out and make a move on a guy,,,but I’ve found that adding a smile to my shyness makes guys think, “Oh, she wants me.” (Get over yourself, a-hole.) There’s lots of dating advice out there that says if a woman really likes a guy she’ll get tongue-tied and quiet...Um, that’s my default position...

4. I DON’T WANT TO HURT ANYONE (AND THAT GETS ME INTO TROUBLE).
Once someone gets to know me,,I’m pretty easy to talk to and become less shy..I’ve been told I bring a warm energy to the party,,even with people who are really annoying As Fuck..But just because I’m not going to throw my drink in someone’s face when they try to say hi and drop a lame pick-up line doesn’t mean that I’m romantically interested in them...

5. I ENJOY CONVERSATION.
Once I get into a juicy conversation with someone,,,I really enjoy myself..but this doesn’t mean that chatting has to lead to anything romantic...The minute I start having a real debate,,,the person might think I’m showing interest...I am,,but not in them but in the fascinating conversation..Good conversation between men and women doesn’t have to be anything more..its can be plantonic sometimes guys...

6. FLIRTING IS LIKE A HEALTH CONDITION – IT HAS MORE THAN ONE SYMPTOM.. (DONT U GET IT!!!!)
In the same way that a health condition will often display more than one symptom,,,flirting isn’t only displayed through one sign,,such as a wink or smile..There are loads more to look out for and I can guarantee that when I’m being nice I’m not going to be throwing out all the flirting signs because I AM NOT FLIRTING! And even if I was,,it still wouldn’t necessarily mean that I’m interested..

7. I’M AWKWARD AND DO AWKWARD THINGS.
Sometimes my shyness can be taken up a notch and I might become a little awkward when dealing with people..This could take the form of playing with my shirt or strands of my hijab..Of course,,those are sometimes viewed as flirting techniques,,,which leaves me screwed..

8. I CARE ABOUT PEOPLE
I remember once chatting with a guy I’d known who was going to the doctor the following day..I wished him good luck for his appointment and checked in to see it had gone all right..He told me how amazing that was and then asked me out...Daaaaah,,thats Awkward...The truth was,,I was just being nice and I honestly hoped his condition were okay...Clearly they weren’t because he was feeling things that desperately weren’t there...

Oh people pleaseee....
Stop adjudicate !!!!!!

Friday, 16 November 2018

Life with the mask

Give me the mask and i will show u my real face....

Cause masks make shallow what God has intended to be deep...
Everything in our lives get cheated when we choose to hide ourselves behind our masks...

Me,,my self n just I am,,is the one that choose to show what u need to see from me...

I am,,the one and the only,,
that know what's the real senses has buried deep deep deep down inside my soul...

I even hide my true feeling from all of the world...
How could u be some superior moron n think u know all about my self...
Oh come on...
Life isn't always about u n ur self..
Then how can u come with some regrettable conclusion...

Maybe u know my vision...
But u dont know my stories neither my path...

so,,please please please...
i beg u...in the name of humanity....
STOP ADJUDICATE....!!!!!

Wednesday, 7 November 2018

Tuhan aku lelah

Mungkin hukuman..mungkin tuhan dendam....
Ingin marah..tapi tuhan kan gk pernah salah....
Tapi tanya yg slalu muncul...
Kenapa tuhan...
Kenapa...
Kenapa selalu waktunya tak tepat...
Kenapa berulir waktuku dan waktunya tak searah...
Klo bukan untuk dimiliki lalu kenapa kau tunjukkan dihadapan....
Mengapa hanya impi semu...
Kenapa tuhan...
Kenapa....
Tuhan..tak ibakah engkau pada hambamu...
Tuhan...kenapa....
Kenapa selalu begini...

Kenapa kau buat aku secengeng ini....

Wednesday, 31 October 2018

Kenapa...kemana....

Hanya memanggil Mu
Hanya bisa meratap....
Kenapa lagi kau jatuhkan hati itu pada tempat yg salah...kenapa lagi.....
Mungkin memang tak baik iya menghamba padamu....
Tapi kenapa sesakit ini yg kau turunkan....
Sedangkan mereka yg sama sekali tak menyebutmu...
Kau sambut dgn indah hip-hip hura...

Tuhan...kalau rasa itu salah...
Lalu kenapa kau biarkan dinding hati itu berdiri sekokoh berlian......

Tuhan...
Kalau memang tak kau berikan yg ia mau..
Lalu kenapa kau lambai2kan selalu pesona itu didepan pintu 😢😢😢😢

Tuhan...
Bukankah ini semua dimulai semua dgn baik...
Lalu kenapa tuhan...kenapa.....
Kenapa kau berikan coba bahkan saat masa baru berjalan....

Tuhan...kenapa....
Kenapa tau kau satukan keduanya dalam 1 rasa yg sama....
Kenapa tak kau biarkan keduanya bersambut gaung...
Kenapa kau biarkan ada kata "seandainya"

Lalu dimana kah jawab dari kemana kenapa dan bagaimana.....